Inadequacy.
I am one with neither dreams nor aspirations for the future.
Days pass and the Self atrophies - mind, soul, and all.
I am my own worst enemy for I allow myself to be engulfed by lies and negativity.
As if physical manifestation weren’t enough, I’m consciously turning to abuse.
No one cares anyway.
I’m sick of the church.
One of the cruelest responses one can give to someone is “everything will be okay.”
All I know is loneliness, emptiness & silence.
I must often ask myself if this is indeed Reality.
Happiness is but a day.
Santificação
Não quero me enganar, pensar que estás perto quando longe estou.
Não quero me iludir Senhor, de mim mesmo, venha me salvar!
Eu saio agora do controle para que possas comandar
Aceita-me meu Senhor, vem me transformar.
Tanto pra pensar e não pensar, tanto que perdi tentando me acertar.
Preciso obedecer, nem sempre compreender qual é o Teu querer.
Pedir o que, dizer o que, fazer o que escolher.
Deixar o Teu Amor me consolar, e descansar!
-daniela araújo
Will this ever end?
Losing Faith, losing Hope.
I could always play “the grass is greener” game and I could always cry out “woe is me,” both involuntarily. Involuntarily because both expressions tend to ring true in myself.
Every morning, it takes more than the effort made by an average person to get out of bed, take care of personal business, then prepare him/herself for a normal day of work. For me at least. I’m incapable of burying all emotions beneath into the deep soil and work mindlessly.
I fear the outside world and its inhabitants.
I allow my mind to run restlessly and wallow in sentiments of extreme fear, anxiety and despair.
I don’t know how to thank the Lord for having Saved His beloved child and let the simple Gospel itself be an encouragement for even one day.
…but I want to know. I want the powerful existence of God to be reason for Life (because it is).
I am malignant, malicious and malevolent.
I thrive on self-pity, self-destruction, and self-centeredness.
…and so my soul dies slowly everyday.
Being a child of God means that I must understand that man is made in the image of God. I have to learn to stop placing animals above the “rank” of man and accept that despite Sin and evil, God loves His people.
God, sometimes (or OFTEN rather) I do not know how to discern Your Goodness from mere coincidence, thus making it even more difficult to accept your Goodness.
WHY AM I OF SUCH LITTLE FAITH?!
I delight in placing myself in situations that would be dangerous to my mental and spiritual being.
A million scars for every mistake.
I desire to be grateful without having to desire it.
“Self-examination by our own code produces self-righteousness.”
- John W. Ritenbaugh
The human heart and its selfish desires of wanting to hear praise…
“He takes no pleasure in the strength of a horse or in human might. No, the Lord’s delight is in those who fear him, those who put their hope in his unfailing love.” (Psalm 147:10-11)
We cannot fix ourselves.
I have noticed that I no longer struggle with the question of, “who am I’s” because I know that I am His and He is mine.
Lord, I’m sorry everyday for being a fool. But, thank you.
All should be okay if I am with Christ Jesus.
I hate succumbing to STRESS.
I always feel uneasy about work. A heavy burden. What does this mean?!?!
talk it out.
Move forward. Someone please start the damn engine.
There is something seriously wrong when the passion & conviction of my dear brothers and sisters in Christ scare me to death instead of inspire me.
What does it mean when God is to “teach me in His Timing” while these other sisters and brothers have already understood. How does Time work? How soon is soon?
I’m at a point where this anxiety is grilling me to “give up”. Drop everything and run. It is difficult to even be present at Church on Sundays and at General meetings.
Sure all I really have to do is repent since God’s mercies are renewed everyday and he forgives. You know? Keep my focus on Jesus and allow the Holy Spirit to work within me?
But my heart won’t give and my mouth won’t budge. My conscience is frozen in paralysis.
And once again, I begin to find a craving for isolation.
Prone to pressure, anxiety, and attacks in general.
Everything is so complicated because our human perspectives are tainted, skewed, and distorted. Never forget the Vision.
pq q tem q ser assim?
Loneliness is so attractive tonight.
I feel like way too much already happened this week and it’s not even over yet.
a incerteza do futuro me mata.
Will your grace run out, If I let you down?
‘Cause all I know is how to run.
‘Cause I am a sinner
If it’s not one thing its another
Caught up in words, tangled in lies
You are a Savior
And you take brokenness aside
And make it beautiful
Beautiful
Will you call me child, when I tell you lies?
‘Cause all I know is how to cry.
I am a sinner
If it’s not one thing its another
Caught up in words, tangled in lies
You are a Savior
And you take brokenness aside
And make it beautiful
Beautiful
All Sons & Daughters
I apparently enjoy allowing sin to marinate my soul.
Oh dear prodigal, why are you weeping on the way back to to His house?
Do you feel that His love’s grown cold?
Or His heart is toward you no more?
On the way back to His House…
Why are you begging Him for mercy, when you could be rejoicing?
For the love of the Father has brought you home.
“Prodigal” Amber Brooks
Am I going to Trust my God who orchestrates all happenings or am I going to permit societal standards/my feeble idea of “rationale” cast a darkness over my conscience?
Sometimes, incidents such as Norway’s recent tragedies paralyze my soul and I don’t know how to carry on with/in this Life. The Truth is, despite and in the midst of these trials, He holds the tiny world in His hands and every single occurrence is under His control. His Sovereignty is indisputable and unmistakable, but we as His people must have the Faith to Believe it.
If there is anything that man desires to hold onto, let it be Faith and Truth.
Placing expectations on people and then falling into self-condemnation when they disappoint me…
Such foolishness.
1 Peter 4:10-11, ESV
